Dear Margo,
You deserve to be loved. And yes, that does include loving yourself. In fact, apart from loving God, loving yourself is probably the most important person to love.
So each day you face, get your boots on and go get your horse because recovery is the longest and bravest ride of your life.
First, you need to remind yourself that you’ve used ED to love yourself, but the truth is he’s only destroyed you. He’s distorted your thoughts and feelings to use harmful behavior to cover up pain that you’ve covered up. He’s told you lies, such as not eating, running, purging, and numbing out are the safest ways to go.
But he’s a lie.
Remember, before going to The Meadows Ranch? Your friends had trickled down to toothbrushes, toilets, pavement,and errands because ED said there’s no time for the people whose love you ignored.
But he’s a lie.
Look back to your time at The Meadows Ranch. Remember those who loved you, and pushed you? Remember the day everything looked brighter and clearer? Remember Casper, who showed you every day that he wanted to be with you, despite what you believed?
Now look at yourself. You have made more friends, you’ve faced fears, you’ve had fun, and you’ve let others love you. You have a job that you love, and are good at, and you are capable to do way more than what ED tells you you can.
Because he’s a lie.
Remember that when you feel you’re too fat, too ugly, not worth it, and that some days the world would be better without you, are all lies from ED. All he wants to do is crush you down. But don’t listen to him.
Because he’s a lie.
Despite of what’s been done to you, or what others may say about you, you have good qualities. You’re kind, gentle, genuine, funny, beautiful, you have good hair, and you deserve to be loved.
That’s the truth.
Love,
The Part of You that Can See Light outside of ED’s Lies. P.S. Read this every day.